Article 12: Like Fishes in the Market
Back in high school, my Spanish teacher Senor Machado had a favorite saying. Whenever it was clear that we just weren’t getting something, he would laugh his jolly Cuban laugh and triumphantly exclaim……”Ahh, you are like fishes in the market. Your eyes are open but…you see Nothing!”
I sometimes feel like the “fishes in the market” through my own Christian journey. I was born and raised into a good Catholic Home, went to Catholic school from grade 1 through grade 18, have a Masters Degree in Theology from a Catholic University, and have taught Catholic Theology at Catholic Highschools. Gasp, makes me tired just thinking about how darn Catholic Smart I should be.
And yet…..I’m no better than the next guy. In fact, many times probably worse. To whom much is given much is expected, right? I have spent my life with my eyes wide open. I know what God expects of me. I know the minute I make a decision whether it was the right or wrong decision morally. And yet I often have made the wrong decision. To paraphrase St. Paul, I many times have done the evil that at some level I don’t want to do. Why? Why are my eyes so wide open, yet like the fishes in the market, I see nothing?
I think it comes down to trust. At some deep level I tend to not trust that God’s way of doing things is better than my way of doing things. Its like I am in the Garden, and a snake is telling me, “Surely you will not die”. I am convinced by that Snake, and begin to Doubt God. I doubt that he really wants me to be like Him. I doubt that God has given me all that I need to be happy. And so instead of trusting that God has really given me all that I need to be happy, I doubt God and I…..take. I take what I want, even though deep down I know it won’t lead to happiness. Arghhh! What a twisted mess I can be. Why do I make it so difficult? Dear God, I know a lot of things. But teach me to really believe these same things; and to trust that you really have given me all that I need to be happy.
And let my eyes be opened to this truth….so that my old Cuban schoolteacher, Senor Machado, would be proud!
